thursday quitting

I quit my job earlier this year 

I would say I quit my relationship, but that wouldn’t necessarily be true 

I quit my five-year romantic relationship with my last partner; let’s go with that. :)

I’ve quit several narratives and roles I thought I had to fill, such as being a strong friend, a people-pleaser, and humble. 

I must say quitting feels good. 

Correction, quitting things that’s not for me, that’s not working, that’s not healthy, and whatever else my intuition tells me, even if I don’t have any proof. 

Before quitting, ending, and starting new and again, I didn’t ask for any advice. 

I did not consult with anyone about my choices, what I wanted to do, and why. 

I couldn’t afford NOT to feel supported, to be guided to do something other than what I wanted to do, and lastly, I didn’t want my choices to be rooted in seeking validation.  

I wanted to exercise my faith and trust. 

I wanted to do what I felt deep in my soul was right for me at that moment. 

And that’s what I did.

It was liberating to do something for me, for once. 

To know, I made choices people who love me didn’t understand.

Humans often forget how normal it is to want to feel supported and validated by our loved ones. Somewhere down the line of the narcissism epidemic, capitalism, and the removal of an active community, it became all about “me, me, me,” producing a lack of grace, compassion, and support. 

Therefore, I found it vital that I began to make my life choices based on the things I truly believed, trusted, and wanted for myself that were still rooted in my purpose and core values. Not what I’ve been told and taught to accept, what I should do & be, and how I should behave. 

I wanted to be mentally and emotionally equipped, confident, and secure in myself and my life choices, that regardless of all the outside noise & lack of validation, I knew what was up with myself and that I could trust myself. 

Deciding and moving accordingly took plenty of silence, self-reflection, and raw honesty.

Quitting resulted in me being forced to do things differently and radically, like stepping out on blind faith and trusting in my vision for my life 100%. 

Causing an influx of self-confidence, I began to practice building self-trust healthily. 

Sometimes, I tend to get things wrong, and that’s okay. 

I gave myself the proper time and grace to sit with it, and then I began researching how to learn from it. 

If you’re going to quit, quit with a solution + purpose and plan to help you elevate.  

Being okay with quitting has allowed me not to take everything so seriously but the right things seriously at the same time. 

Knowing there’s always a solution and that I can continuously evolve and evaluate my mind, habits, and overall quality of life & relationships – keeping me open and committed to seeing out my vision.

That’s one thing I will never quit on, even if it means I must readjust and quit some things to reach the bigger goal.  

Trusting in due time, my sacrifices, hard choices, and hard work will eventually manifest into everything my heart desires right before my very eyes.

Quitting has allowed me to clear up more room and space for what's to come. 

I’ve given myself the proper time to rest, experience, reflect, and process. 

Now, it is quarter 4, and I feel like nothing or no one is in my way.

I can not be stopped or distracted. 

I’m locked in. 

Thank you for reading my first digital journal entry. and as you can tell 

These would be different, more intimate, you know….

So please be sure to subscribe so that I can reach you more intentionally and intimately. 

• Love Shana B.